v15 Stress Management

If you’ve ever felt like you’re holding it all together with dry shampoo and emotional duct tape—this one is for you. Especially for working moms who are doing their best.

Hi, I’m Jing. I’m a Chief of Staff at a fast-moving Startup, a mom of two, a wife, a sometimes-founder, and a woman who’s always trying to sneak one more thing onto the calendar. Although, if we’re being honest, most days I feel like my actual title should be Chief of Chaos.

People often say to me, “I don’t know how you do it all.”
And honestly? Neither do I.

There are days I’m in flow—crushing work meetings, prepping dinner that didn’t come from the freezer, and still squeezing in bedtime snuggles. And then there are days when I’m staring at my phone, mentally kicking myself because I forgot about a school event, missed a work email, and realized too late that the chicken I meant to defrost is still frozen solid. I’m stressed, overwhelmed, and swimming in mom guilt.

Managing stress, especially as a working mom, isn’t about having it all figured out. It’s about learning how to stay afloat when everything feels like too much.

It’s part strategy, part surrender, and part survival.

In this newsletter, I’ll walk you through three mindsets that have helped me find a little more peace (and a lot more grace) in the everyday mess.

Let’s dive in.

PART 1: STRATEGY – The Four Circles

When a Work Problem Feels Like the End of the World, I Draw Circles.

A few weeks ago, I found myself in full internal meltdown mode. Not because of one big crisis—but because of the build-up. You know that feeling when everything feels a little too loud, a little too much, and your brain just won’t shut off?

I was unloading the dishwasher, thinking through work conversations, juggling mom logistics in the back of my mind—and suddenly, it all felt like... too much. I wasn’t in danger of quitting. But I was running on fumes and questioning how I was supposed to keep holding it all together.

That’s when I pulled out a piece of paper and started drawing circles.

Circle One: The World

The biggest one. The zoom all the way out circle. It holds over 8 billion people, who are all living wildly different lives. Some are falling in love, others are grieving. Some are climbing mountains, others are binge-watching Netflix with chips in bed. This circle reminds me: whatever I’m dealing with—it’s just one moment in one person’s life in a very big, beautiful, messy world.

Circle Two: My Life

Inside that world is my life. And my life is so much more than what’s stressing me out. It’s my family, my friendships, my late-night laughs, my little hobbies, my dreams that haven’t happened yet. It’s the smell of my kid’s hair after bath time. The group chat that’s always popping off. The mochi donut from my favorite bakery.

My life is rich—even when it’s hard.

Circle Three: My Career

Zoom in again, and you get to my career. Yes, it matters. It’s where I pour a lot of energy. It’s a part of my identity. I care about doing good work and being someone people can count on.

But it’s still just one part of my life. It’s not the whole pie.

Circle Four: My Current Job

Now we’re getting specific—this is my current role at my current company. It’s meaningful. I learn a lot. I care deeply. But I also know this is a chapter, not the whole book. There were jobs before this one, and there will be jobs after. This job matters. But it’s one stop on a much bigger journey.

Even when it feels all-consuming, it’s still just one part of the story.

And That Tiny Dot? That’s Today’s Problem.

That email. That project. That awkward meeting. It’s a dot. One dot. Not your whole job. Not your whole career. Not your whole life. Certainly not the whole world.

Once I saw that dot inside all those circles, I took a deep breath. And then I made dinner. And then I emailed back—like a person, not a panic spiral.

What’s your dot today?
And what circle might help you see it for what it really is?

PART 2: SURRENDER – Letting Go (a Little)

When My To-Do List Tries to Eat Me Alive, I Lower the Bar and Choose Peace.

Some mornings, I feel like my feet hit the ground already running—and I’m still behind. I’m packing lunch boxes while half-answering work Slacks. The toddler’s shouting because his sock feels “weird,” and the preschooler just spilled milk on the floor. Meanwhile, I’m mentally sorting through an all-hands deck, an overdue contract review, and the dinner I forgot to plan.

It’s not chaos some of the time. It’s chaos most of the time.

And for a while, I was trying to stay ahead of it all—to stay in control, to be everything for everyone, to “do it all.” But that version of success broke me. So I redefined it.

One Big Thing = A Win

I used to measure a good day by how many checkboxes I ticked off. But my list was never-ending—especially because I kept adding to it throughout the day. Just walking from the kitchen to the bathroom meant I’d mentally log: reorganize the pantry, clean the grout, replace the filter, and reply to the teacher's email...

Now, I set the bar at one big thing per day.
Sometimes that’s a strategic doc for work. Sometimes it’s finally sorting the laundry pile that’s been silently judging me all week. Either way, if I accomplish that one thing, I call it a success. The rest? Bonus.

The Two-Minutes Rule (and the Fridge Trick)

I’ve realized that trying to keep everything in my head is half the reason I’m stressed. So I follow this rule:

• If it takes under 2 minutes and it’s bothering me, I just do it.
• If not, I write it down on a sticky note and stick it on the fridge.

It sounds simple, but that fridge has become my second brain. I don’t lose the thought—but I also don’t carry the weight of it all day.

At Work: My Brain Never Turns Off

As a Chief of Staff, I see all the broken pieces. My brain doesn’t just look at a task—it zooms out to the system, the process, the misalignment, the people dynamics behind it all. And I can’t unsee it.

Naturally, I end up mentally drafting entire improvement projects on the fly. But now, I pause and ask:

1. Is this a real problem or just an inconvenience?
2. How much does this actually affect the business?
3. Does this need fixing now?
4. Am I the right person to solve it?

Most of the time, the answer is no. And that realization is freeing. I don’t have to fix everything just because I can see the cracks.

Home Triggers: Step Stools, Kid Tables, and Control

One of my biggest stress triggers? The constant, low-grade mess of life with small kids. But I’ve realized: it’s not the mess itself that rattles me—it’s the lack of control.

Take the step stools. My kids love dismantling them to use as beds for their stuffed animals. Every night, I’d put them back together. Every morning, they’d be apart again. I was caught in this loop—trying to impose my version of “order” on their world. Eventually, I stopped. The stools became stuffed-animal beds. Everyone’s happier. Especially me.

Same with the little table they kept dragging into the middle of the room. I used to push it back to the corner like some invisible reset button. But then I realized: they weren’t being chaotic—they were claiming space. So I moved the table to the middle, but placed it neatly near the couch. They still move the table, but it stays near the couch.

Maybe today isn’t about getting everything done.
Maybe it’s about doing one thing well—and letting the rest be okay.

INTERLUDE – Joy in the Margins

When Life Feels Like a Treadmill, I Step Off for a Moment of Wonder.

Stress shrinks our world. Joy stretches it back out. So I try to punctuate my days with tiny joyful interruptions.

When the weather is nice, once a while it’s a spontaneous lunch break walk—where I ditch my packed lunch, explore the neighborhood, and try a new spot. I recently found a Thai restaurant that instantly transported me back to my NYC vacation days. The food, the music, even the chili oil felt like a memory on a plate.

Other times, before I head home after work, I duck into the Paper Source store near my office. I rarely buy anything. I just roam. Look at cards. Touch the notebooks. Let beauty and creativity seep into a part of my brain that’s usually busy planning or firefighting.

PART 3: SURVIVAL – Fuel for the Future

When the Grind Feels Endless, I Plan Something to Look Forward To.

Some days, I feel like I’m just clocking in across multiple roles: the worker, the mom, the wife, the friend, the woman who’s supposed to be “thriving” but also doing the grocery run and answering Slacks at 9 PM. I’m proud of all those roles. They’re part of who I am.

But when I stay in that mode—grind, responsibility, performance—all the time, something starts to hollow out inside. Like the joy is being rationed. Like I’m breathing but not deeply.

That’s when I know: I need to schedule joy into the future. Not just little day-to-day moments (those matter too), but bigger things. Things I can circle on the calendar. Things that whisper: You’re not just surviving—you’re living.

The Planning Perspective Shift

I used to think future plans were luxuries—things I’d do when I had the time, money, and energy. But I’ve learned they’re actually lifelines. A planned joy—even one that’s months away—has the power to soften the edges of a really hard week.

Recently, I booked a family trip for the end of summer—our first proper one in over a year. I also slotted in a short weekend getaway in just a few weeks. Neither trip has happened yet, and still—I feel lighter. I feel like me again. The hustle hasn’t changed, but my why feels clearer.

We’re Not Meant to Grind Forever

In the U.S., being “always on” is practically a virtue. I love the energy of that. The ambition, the drive—it resonates with me.

But when that becomes your whole identity, it’s easy to lose your softness. Your sense of play. Your ability to see beauty in small things. And without those? Life starts to feel like one long checklist.

That’s when I ask: What am I working so hard for, if not to enjoy my life?

What “Look Forward To” Can Look Like:

• A family trip with no itinerary—just beach towels, snacks, and a lot of sand.
• A girls’ night out where we laugh about things that have nothing to do with kids or work.
• A solo date where I sip my tea slowly and browse bookstores like I used to in college.
• A dance class. A movie night. A new recipe. A staycation. A pause.

The point isn’t how big or fancy it is. It’s that it belongs to you. It’s that it signals: Hey, this life is yours to enjoy.

What’s one thing—big or small—you can plan that future-you will thank you for?
Go ahead, circle the date. You deserve something to look forward to.

💌 Final Note

You don’t need to “fix” your stress to be okay.
Sometimes, you need a strategy.
Sometimes, you need to let go.
Sometimes, you just need something—anything—to look forward to.

Whatever season you’re in, I hope this helped you feel seen. You’ve got this, one circle, one moment, and one deep breath at a time.

🎧 P.S. Now My Newsletter Talks Back

Prefer to listen instead of read? I turned this exact newsletter into a podcast episode—so you can take it on a walk, a drive, or just hit play while hiding in your closet for ten minutes of peace. No judgment. Because sometimes hearing the words makes them land a little differently—and you deserve to feel less alone, in whatever format works for you.

▶️ Listen to “Stress Management” on Spotify (Spotify link here) or Click on Play button below.